Chris Magazine

It was interesting. Kerry did better than I thought he would. Bored me a bit with his insistence of talking about building alliances. It may be true, but it doesn't really strike home as strongly as some other points he made.

Bush was in typical form. He gave a strong debate, was on message and stumbled a bit when he either moved off his mantras a bit or ran out of material on a particular topic.

The best part about the debate was the one minute rebuttle which certainly made it much more like a real debate than the initial idea they had agreed to.

I think I'd give the win narrowly to Kerry, but I don't know if it really changed too many minds. The democrats will say Kerry won, the Republics will give it clearly to Bush and Independents...we'll just have to see what the polls say.

The one thing that makes this interesting is that this was Kerry's weakest position against Bush and to have played it even or just a bit ahead makes the two upcoming debates into a nice possible dogfight.

After hours of trying to get on Blogger yesterday the TV thing fell by the wayside. I've decided to give a comprehensive view of what you should be watching starting on Sunday night. Tune in for me. If you have any suggestions, thoughts or comments, let me know.

A complete Why Aren't You Watching? for the fall season. I'll go day by day and tell you exactly what you should be watching and then alienate those people who choose watch all those other crap shows.

I've been behind in posting. Still down because of the job drought. Very frustrated with the politics and the world in general. Also working on a secret project that is taking loads of time and even I'm not sure if it will ever take off. Exciting, isn't it?

Watching J.J. Abrahms new Lost show I had a thought. It's about a group of people whose plane crashes trapping them on a deserted island (or so they think).

Apparently there's also a monster of some sort there... the thing is during the first half hour there is a scene where three of the characters were walking with some ominous music playing and in the background we see this furry head. The camera pans around to show us a yellow lab.

I lost it. All of a sudden I thought I was watching an updated Monty Python sketch. The dog is the monster and it's picking them off one by one! I'd watch that.

I'll have a whole lot more on the fall tv scene coming up this week.

A girl came up to me today and said, "You're hot...but, it's a dry heat."
I'm not really sure how to take that.

I was very pleased to see Chip and Kim winning the Amazing Race last night. They weren't the best team (that was clearly Colin and Christie), but they won anyway and more importantly beat Brandon and Nicole. I really hated them.

The self-proclaimed chosen team. Every time they fell on hard times, here came God, pulled out of their back pockets and thrust before them like Huskies leading a sled. They spent so much time talking about their faith (while in no way acting very much like the Christians they proclaimed themselves to be) that even the producers began treating it like a joke. As they were climbing up the mountain in Calgary, they called out for Jesus to help, then the producers cut to footage of blue sky and sun shining through a cloud. They did it a second time too towards the end of the show. Funny stuff.

The best thing was that Chip and Kim were at least as religious, but they didn't wear it on their sleeves. They played the game hard, they played within the rules and were also very gracious and nice. Congratulations to them. The show definitely deserved the Emmy (if any reality show did).

Bush's speech today at the UN was akin to a man who recently entered drug rehab walking into a DEA meeting and talking about the dangers of drugs. Look, everyone else in the world has been dealing with terrorism for years now, we were the ones late to the party. His speech seemed much more for our electorate than for the international community.

So, aside from Alison Janney winning for an absolutely horrific year of The West Wing, the Emmys played out as they should have. Angels in America deserved every award it got. Yes, it's six hours long, but it's worth the time.

Congrats to Arrested Development which more than deserved the Emmy, but probably won't last more than this year. Great show, too good for broadcast television and too smart to survive there. Appropriately enough, their acceptance speech ended abruptly as the music started and the camera shot off into the background and up came a commercial.

Not sure James Spader deserved it over Keifer Sutherland, but so long as Martin Sheen didn't walk away with the award, it wasn't a huge upset.

The biggest kudos have to go to the reality show award presentation. It was just very genuine and funny. The two kids were cute. Also glad that Amazing Race won. It too was deserving.

Gary Shandling was ok. Started off really rough, but warmed up as the night went on.

Slow start, predictible winners, but congrats to Mary Louise Parker for a dress that got the Clevetacular award for the evening. More later.

I was gliding around the radio dial and came across a show where the host was interviewing a woman who's son was in Iraq. She was staunchly anti-war and he was critical of her stance. He reflected on Vietnam and said how there are irrefutable facts that show that the anti-war movement gave the Vietcong great confidence and in fact, it lengthened and made for a more bloody war. He then asked the woman if she didn't think that her anti-war activities weren't simply emboldening the insurgency who see the anti-war movement as a sign they are winning. He said that there shouldn't be any anti-war activity during war. Apparently it should only be relegated to times when there aren't wars, thereby ensuring that no advantage would be given to our enemies.

Now I thought this was a bunch of crap, but I went on the internet and sure enough I found hundreds of documents on the marketing and research that the collective insurgency in Iraq has done.

Here's some samples of what I found.

Does the anti-war movement in the United States lift your spirits and make you more willing to give your life for Allah?
42% Yes, much more willing
37% More Willing
21% Lifts spirits, but not ready to meet allah

Does knowing that many Infadels themselves are against the war make you want to try to enlongate the war and make it more bloody?82% Yes
18% Want it more bloody, but shorter

Motivates me to fight harder as an insurgent...
55% Fact that many Americans use an Indian accent when making fun of Arabs
22% Fact that most Americans couldn't find Iraq on a map if it was bright red and circled
4% All about the Benjamins
4% Worried that if Americans win they'd make us watch reality programming
4% Pride
3% Grenade launcher is like a larger, second penis
2% Want to win, establish dictatorship, oppress people, purchase weapons of mass distructions, train terrorists and attack American interests to ensure that Bush doctrine becomes self-fulfilling prophecy
2% Have low blood sugar, makes me cranky
2% Thought we were still fighting Iran
2% The hockey lockout pisses me off.

On the Apprentice last night. Brad (who was later fired) talking about losing.
"I hate finishing second, it's like finishing last."
Well, seeing how the game only has two teams, it is finishing last. You're fired.

Someone, not all that aware of the sports world, asked me to explain the NHL lockout. The best I could do was come up with a rather inappropriate, but accurate analogy. The NHL is a nice sport, an exciting sport and my favorite sport, but not all that popular in the states compared to most sports.

This lockout and possible loss of a whole season is akin to an ugly man (NHL-Owners and players) with a sizeable genitalia (more than a billion dollars a year revenue) dating a supermodel (the fans) who shoots his penis off to try to teach her a lesson.

It sure is a dramatic move, but your girlfriend has better options and she's gonna take them. You, meanwhile, have no penis left. Sure, you'll come back and try to date, but good luck getting another supermodel.

It's official. The NHL announced they will lock out the players at midnight tonight. Commissioner Gary Bettman made a number of good points against the union, but in the end I still don't give a crap. It's of no consequence to me who's to blame. Hockey's gone, probably for the year and like most people, whatever money I might have spent on their products will go elsewhere this year and frankly they may never come back.

When the league did this in 1994, it was damaged, but it seemed like it finally recovered last year. If it took 10 years then, it will be worse now. The problem being that when they locked-out in '94, there were really only three other major sports, ESPN 2 was just really getting off the ground and most viewers still got their fix from the broadcast networks. That's no longer the case.

Now there are numerous Fox Sports, ESPN, ESPN 2, College Sports TV, TBS and TNT carry sports, so does USA, speed network and then there's the NBA network and NFL network. Plus the satellite companies and cable all carry packages that allow you to view all the games from college football, basketball, MLB, the NFL and NBA. The NHL is just a blip.

If they don't figure this out in the next couple of weeks I guess I can only say... good-bye NHL as we know you. Good luck getting people to come back. Better luck to you in getting most people to notice you went away in the first place.

Ashton Kutcher's Restaurant Burglarized
NEW YORK (AP) - Ashton Kutcher's exclusive Los Angeles restaurant, Dolce, was burglarized twice over Labor Day weekend, syndicated entertainment show "Access Hollywood" reports.

The upscale restaurant is also owned by Kutcher's co-stars from "That 70's Show": Wilmer Valderrama and Danny Masterson. Also co-owners are actors Jamie Kennedy, Masterson's brother Chris and 15 other investors.

The manager of Dolce would not comment on the burglaries.

"Access" reports that the LAPD says the restaurant was robbed of money and checks from a small safe on Sept. 4, and again on Sept. 6, this time taking cash and several bottles of wine.

Kutcher is the host of the MTV show "Punk'd" in which celebrities are pranked.


Actually with Jamie Kennedy being a co-owner he might have simply been "Xed".

On the assault weapons ban that just expired.

First. To the Democrats...Shut up. Stop your whining about the whole thing expiring. It was an empty bill leaving so many loopholes one would have thought that someone had bought an UZI and reconditioned it into a true automatic machine gun and then taken a shot at the damn thing.

To the fine Republicans... put up. Bush said he'd support a re-upping of the ban. Of course he said this only because he knew it would never reach his desk. It could have easily, his party does control both the house and the senate and he is the head of the party, but we know there's more NRA money floating around here than drunken bimbos at a Leonardo DiCaprio house party. That bill never had a chance and the Republicans (rightfully) pointed out that it was an unsuccessful bill. That said, if that's your reason for not renewing it, then put your heads back together with the Democrats and write a bill without the holes.

I'm really sick of the whole gun argument in the United States. I have no problem with people owning guns and hunting, but while I believe in the second amendment, I also believe in the spirit of the second amendment. It was written in fear of an oppressive government taking over and the people having no recourse but to rise up themselves against it. It didn't mean that every moron is this country should be packing heat on the way to the 7-11 to buy their forty and lottery tickets. I think you should be able to have a gun, however it should be a nice single shot black powder musket. For those defenders of the guns who say it's not guns who kill people. That's just stupid. We know that. It's not the guns that kill people, but the bullets in the guns. However, without those guns, throwing bullets would be much less effective.

Frankly, I really am willing to allow people to own guns, but only with a nice extensive background check and a required amount of training time before you can actually buy it.

It turns out I have the ability to foretell the future... unfortunately it seems I can only do it in retrospect.

I made a suggestion a couple of days ago on how we could stop the hurricanes hitting Florida. I thought I was joking, it turns out I wasn't far off from reality...
Read this.
As it turns out, I might be a genius after all.

We'll never forget (those who seek the profit on the memory and those who use the terrible event for their own purposes will make sure of that.)

This award was going to go to Cheney for threatening the American public, however something more important came up.

The NHL owners and players met Thursday with the players offering their first proposal since last October. The proposal was rejected and with just a week to go it appears clear now that there will be lockout. Morons.

I've listened to all the arguments for both sides and I'm sure in some ways both are right. The owners probably aren't losing as much money as they say they are and I'm certain that the players are correct in asserting that the current system would work if the owners just showed some discipline. Who cares? I don't. And that alone should concern them greatly.

I am a huge hockey fan. I buy the hockey package on Directv. I watched 82 Flyer games last year plus every playoff game they played and I can tell you that I don't give two shits (or even a single crap) who's right or who's wrong. They need to settle this before next week or they'll do damage to the sport that they can't even comprehend.

The owners and players seem to exist in a vacuum. Either that or they only receive the papers from Canada because the United States (you know us, we're the ones with all that money) doesn't care. Hockey keeps getting mentioned as one of the big four sports along with baseball, football and basketball, but that is fallacy. Hockey isn't top five, it's barely in the top ten. The three aforementioned sports all get much better ratings than hockey, so does NASCAR and golf and figure skating. Let's not forget college football and, oh yeah, poker. ESPN isn't going to miss hockey. Neither is NBC. There are those few hardcore fans who will lament it's losing a whole season (which is likely to happen), but on the whole most people will just replace it with something else and forget.

Because we are creatures of habit, you can expect even fewer people to care about hockey when it ultimately does return. Oh, and when it does it will be short a couple of franchises. This will mean fewer jobs for the players, but I'm sure that the union will be proud that they kept their salaries up at the levels they are now. Way to take a howitzer to your nose. Your face has learned a lesson. Morons.

The owners, meanwhile, are convinced that the public will come back. They probably will in Boston and Philly, but do you really think people in Atlanta will fill their building? What about Florida or Nashville? The owners and players have this inflated idea of just how important their sport is. I don't know where they get it from. It's not from their television contract which went from $600 millions dollars over three years to $60 and all the games on ESPN2. The NHL actually gets $0 from the NBC deal. It's a revenue sharing contract. The same type Arena Football gets. This isn't surprising since the ratings the two sports get are similar.

Speaking of which, it wasn't from TV ratings because event he Stanley Cup Finals struggled to beat the WB and UPN. It's not from media because hockey really gets little coverage in the media unless someone swings a stick or a bench clears for a fight. It sure as hell isn't from my friends. They really don't care. They couldn't talk hockey if I paid them. They don't know any names of any of the players and wouldn't pay a penny to sit in the front row if that chance came up.

We hear this all the time, but revenues for the NHL are more than a billion dollars every year. You'd think there would be some way to make everyone happy and profitable, but then again most of us get by on only five figures of income every year. We'd probably be confused with a billion dollars too.

A tree is set to fall in the forest next Wednesday. It may make a sound, but instead of a crash, it will probably sound more like the spinning of two opposing sides of lawyers all justifying something that isn't justifiable at all.

After a couple of years of people being systematically removed and/or killed in the Sudan by Government supported militias, our government finally acknowledged that what's happening there is Genocide.

I'm not sure what the standard is that made them finally use the label. I figure it must work like the record industry. 100,000 dead is a tragedy. 500,000 is human rights violation. 1,000,000 is genocide.

So, first off. Congrats to the Sudan for finally achieving that tough to get label. Of course, when we see a country laboring under the thumb of a brutal, genocidal dictatorship we do what any moral country would.... we go ask the UN to impose sanctions. This is because nothing stops the destruction of innocent lives faster than sanctions. Just look how it brought Iraq and North Korea quickly into line.

And with the quick and decisive request for sanctions, we can now sleep comfortably knowing that with a nasty, hard fought election on the way, our media will be ignoring the tragedy for months to come.

If we were really a moral country, don't you think it would be consistent with our actions in Iraq (with the final reason to go in being to "liberate them") if we were to not wait for useless sanctions and instead unilaterally enter the Sudan to protect those in danger? Ha. I'm just kidding. We'd never do that. They're just harmless black folk over there. Nothing to do with us.

So, after months of inferring it, Dick Cheney finally just came out and flat said that if you vote for Kerry in November, there will be another 9/11 style attack and it will be Kerry's fault.

He said this while talking about the fact that Kerry, if elected, will return us to a pre-9/11 standard of defense. This, of course, isn't true. Kerry's said nothing of the sort and frankly, even if he wanted to, there's no going back. Everyone knows that.

This was pretty much and out and out lie said with the purpose of scaring voters to ensure they re-elect Bush. I was going to write a long diatribe about how wrong this was, but then while doing some research I came across a Kerry Campaign document that I thought I should share with you.

It shocked me when I read it and I thought it was a joke, but after talking to a couple of my insider friends, it's the real deal. I won't repeat all of the contents here, but I'll give you a good summery of just what John Kerry has planned for our security if elected President.

1. Opening up the borders. There will be no more checks for passports or luggage should you enter the country from Mexico or Canada. It's to promote free movement between our three countries.

2. Removal of all, security checks, metal detectors and bomb sniffing devices from airports. This is to help in on-time arrivals and departures for the airlines and to raise customer service numbers. Strip searches will remain for the entertainment value.

3. Acknowledging that the profiling that now occurs in airports with regard to Arabs and Arabic sounding names, Arabs will now no longer be eligible for profiling. In fact, all Arabs will now recieve a cup of tea and get to choose three white people off the passenger list to be strip searched.

4. In an effort to run a move sensitive war against terror, Kerry will propose to remove our soldiers from Iraq and Afghanistan and replace them with fundamentalist Chistians armed only with hugs and the love of their God.

5. To win over the more fundamentalist of the terrorists Kerry will start the Virgins for Peace initiative. This will offer any terrorist who turns himself in the use of 78 Virgins.

There's more and maybe I'll add it later. It's horrifying. I'm really scared now. So much so that I'll probably just write in Nader. At least we know, while he may not protect the country from terrorist, we'll all be wearing seatbelts when they do attack.

I saw where someone was selling wind from Hurricane Francis on Ebay. The picture on the site shows a bunch of people running around with Tupperware trying to catch the wind. This gave me the ingenious idea for the next time a hurricane comes through Florida (say Ivan in a week). What if, instead of evacuating everyone, they all stayed and got huge Tupperware containers?

If everyone in Florida captured wind, surely it would diminish the strength of the hurricane to the point where it couldn't hurt any. There are 16 million people there, that's a lot of wind they could catch. If those same people all brought big sponges they could probably stop a lot of the flooding too.

Yeah, I know what you're thinking.... "and this guy doesn't have a job?" I know. It's hard for me to believe too.

Now I'm a registered Independent, but I admit a real lack of liking for George W. I just simply think he's not a good president. I'm not swayed by his leadership after 9/11, though I think he did a good job bringing us all together in the days following. The problem being that since then he's managed to be one of the most divisive Presidents in recent history. He and his party do a magnificent job of framing all the debates and if you are naive (like most of the country seems to be) you're going to hear what he has to say and like it.

From Clean Air Act to Healthy Forest Initiatives to "protecting marriage" and ensuring the rights of the unborn child I find him to be free with the rhetoric and exclusionary and destructive with the actions.

All this said the issue of Bush's time in the National Guard is being brought up again. It appears now, despite the release of all the documents, that he skipped out on his time. So Bush is a wimp. Big deal. This is not only not shocking it seems to be a dead-end story.

Unlike Kerry's time in Vietnam, the American public doesn't seem all the interested in what seems to be the obvious end to the story. It's not surprising seeing how the recent trend in the far-right is that wrong is wrong, unless it's one of us and then it's forgivable and admirable that whomever suffered through the issue came out the other side.

Whether that be Cheney's five deferments, Bush ducking service, the dichotomy of Hollywood and Republicans versus those liberal hollywoodians who have no place having an opinion or Rush Limbaugh's drug addiction and scam to score the drugs, it's all water of a blue duck's back.

In the end I don't have too many problems with most of this. I'm too young for the Vietnam fights and find that I don't care who served and who didn't. Not only that, I'm a coward, if a war started today I'd either go back to school or head to Canada or maybe I'd go to school in Canada. Either way I don't begrudge anyone for having served. I do admire Kerry for going and then for having the courage to come out and speak his mind about his time there. Many who have been critical of him haven't read the transcripts. He did talk about atrocities, but he didn't blame the soldiers, but rather the pencil pushers and people in the Pentagon for putting the soldiers in the position in the first place and for keeping score of the way with body bags.

As far as actors having opinions... more power to them, just so long as the lemmings out there remember that the stars opinions are no more valid than your own and shouldn't be regarded as tablets handed down from the mount.

Drug addiction strikes all sorts of people and they all deserve some semblance of sympathy if only because it's sad to see lives wasted. I will say this though, it would be nice if everyone who had the problems could also go to the exclusive rehab clinics and make $20 million a year.

All of these things are interesting, but ultimately are unimportant. We see a lot of time wasted on all of them detracting from time spent on more important things like, oh I don't know....oh yes I do...the issues.

You know them. The ones that actually impact us. I wish the general public was more interested as a whole in what was going on, but the truth is that most people have one issue that sways them one way or another. It's not really their fault, the real issues are obfuscated and we've heard enough of the politicians talking about how they all lie that we now believe them so why bother listening or even voting for people who are just out to make a buck for themselves in the first place.

Ultimately something has to change. People are calling this the most important election in a generation. I don't know that is true. If Bush wins, not much changes, our influence outside the country continues to decline, our social issues slide more to the fundamental side, but I think this also invigorates the left to greater action and you'd see a mid-term change in the house and Senate.

This would probably be more important than a simple Kerry victory anyway. We could finally get some fight amongst the house and presidency. As of now, Bush has yet to veto a single bill, that's not exactly balance.

Kerry winning the White House just wouldn't provide the same kind of fight I think the Democrats really need. I think a Kerry win would provide a chance for complacency which is the last thing the left needs these days.

All this said I still say vote for Kerry. At the very least, don't be a dumbass, vote.

Screw You Labor Day! I want a job.

Not having a job this is just one more "holiday" that feels like every other day to me, except now I can't go to the bank and no one's bringing me any mail.

So now I'm electrician. My friend Fred called this morning.

"Hey Chris, I was switching around some wires in my house and now my lights won't turn off. Help!"

Not surprising that he called me, with my history degree and background of sitting on my ass and watching sports. So, always willing to help those who get in over their heads I grabbed the two DIY books (with the unbroken spines) I have and set off for Fred's.

Arriving on the scene I was able to quickly deduce (thanks to numerous hours of watching This Old House) that something was amiss. Something to do with the wires or the electric system or lighting, maybe all three.

I talked with Fred for a bit to get a better idea of just what work he had done in an effort to trace the problem to the source. His actions didn't seem to rise to the level of something that should have caused the problem he was having. I knew there was more he wasn't telling me, but he insisted the he had been fully forthcoming.

Climbing into the attic I was able to surmise that the electrical work had been done by an amateur (because it looked much like something I would have done) and asked Fred about it.

He thought that the previous owner had probably done it all himself, which explained the unorthodox wiring methods.

After looking at the wires, the work Fred had done, our high school yearbook and also Fred's DVD collection I knew I had it figured out. I was about to tell Fred how we could quickly fix the problem, but then I stopped. How would he ever learn if I simply gave him the easy answer? Much better to gently lead him to it and give him the self-satisfaction of figuring it out himself.

Two and a half hours later, after about 4 dozens hints from me, he got it. When he had re-hooked up the wires, he had crossed a switch wire with the power wire leading to the lights never going off.

I was proud of him. I shook his hand and patted him on the back for a job well done.

I think this will really help his confidence, but I left him the DIY books just in case.

It may have been a little long, but it was a really good speech from President Bush to close the Convention. He covered all his bases, stated clearly his position on everything from domestic agenda to foreign policy to fighting terror and firmly established his character as a decisive leader.

That said, much of the speech was class president content. He gave a nice laundry list of domestic agenda plans including increasing spending to community colleges and schools and improving health care for the poor and special economic zones in the lower income areas, however he also promised to make his tax cuts permanent and reduce government spending. When you factor in fighting terror and the war in Iraq, I don't see how he'll manage that and also reduce the deficit by half as he's promised.

All that said, most people won't be checking for that, the speech was powerful and I suspect will be very effective for the campaign.

Listening to the speech, once again it was clear just how well researched his material is as Bush hit every single point to please every member of a diverse audience. There was good news for the unemployed, poor, students, for small businesses, for big businesses. There was nice stuff for people interested in tort reform, deregulation and tax relief. And if you're worried about those bad people coming to get us, don't be George will protect us.

I did find (at least) one irony: Bush made a point of noting Kerry's relations with Hollywood stating that was one reason he couldn't be the "conservative value candidate". Kerry does have the support of many in Hollywood, but then again, so does Bush. Earlier in the week Ron Silver was kind enough to speak at the Convention. Let's not forget Arnold gave the keynote address and there was Freddy Thompson helping out with the Bush intro. And wasn't that Charlton Heston applauding (and looking really old)? Funny how if you are a conservative you can be in the entertainment field and have a political opinion, but if you are liberal it's invalid. That said, it still doesn't validate Ben Affleck as a Convention reporter. There are some things that are just wrong, that was one of them.

All in all the Republican Convention was a much more negative affair than the Democrats, but I have to think they did a good job of speaking to their base. Will they bring over the undecided voters? Maybe. Bush and Schwarzenegger will draw some people in, but nice guys like Alan Keyes and Zell Miller might make people think twice. And the angry tenor of the majority of the Convention might also be a turn-off. I guess we'll find out.

I will say this much. Kerry is going to have to kick some serious butt in the debates if he's going to have any sort of lead heading into November. After watching tonight I have to think that Bush will be hard to beat.

Whoa...Lynne was a great intro... Dick brought nothing new to the table and he was just slightly dryer than the Sahara. A very stiff political speech, the audience followed the applause sign diligently, but one thing was missing. Not just from his speech from from every speech given at the Convention, where is the name Osama Bin Laden? Not even mentioned once.... just seems odd.

Quite a speech from the "Democrat" from Georgia at the Republican Convention, but a rather disingenuous one. The speech was well done and inflammatory. He ripped Kerry a new one, but the problem is that 18 months ago he was all fire and brimstone and all for the other side. He spoke supportively of Kerry at the time and in fact 12 years ago he even introduced some guy named Bill Clinton at a Convention at Madison Square Garden. Even so, my problem isn't that Zell Miller switched allegiances, but rather that he hasn't.

He's representing himself tonight as a Democrat for Bush, but he's not. He's a Republican. He votes with them, he's not welcome at any of the Democratic events and he's pretty much announced a switch, but hasn't done it yet. Clearly he remained a Democrat for the attention it would receive at the Convention and it will work, but it's wrong.

Arnold was good. Said all the right things, but mostly talked about himself. Laura was pretty boring and straightforward. She used the new template for political speeches... theme--personal example---personal example--relate to candidate---repeat theme.

The Bush girls also spoke, they were way too rehearsed and I think drunk (but that's just playing the odds).

The most interesting speaker was Maryland Lt. Governor Michael Steele. He was portrayed as the Republican Barak Obama (apparently because he's black) and he even took a couple of swipes at the Democratic Senatorial nominee. He made fun of the Democrats as being the party that promises hope, as if that was a bad thing. He used it to insinuate that the Dems have no plans, they're just offering empty hope. The Republicans, meanwhile, offer no hope, just plans.

He also named his three heroes....Frederick Douglas (good one) Martin Luther King (big fan) and Ronald Reagan (say whosawhatits?). He proceeded to hold them all up at fighters for equality. I guess two out of three isn't bad.

He then pointed at the Republican party as the party that fought for the civil rights movement. Ok, that's just wrong. Most Republicans were not fans at the time (in fact most Americans weren't he biggest of fans to begin with) and even some Democrats fought against it (though they were the Dixie-crats all later to become Republicans). It was a fine speech, but it just was a bit absurd. Of course, no one really questioned him about it, but they really should have.

On a final note, day two also saw the unveiling of the band-aids with purple hearts on them. Admittedly, with Kerry making his military service an issue some things can be questioned, but to me they seem like an affront to anyone who was ever awarded the purple heart. There are some things you just don't make fun of, that's probably one of them. And for those who wonder there have been more than 25,000 wounded in Iraq. Most will probably get the heart. Seems a bit hypocritical to talk about how much you support the troops only to make fun of something so important to them.

I don't know if you saw it, but there was a drunk guy driving home with his good buddy and on the way home the buddy (also drunk) stuck his head out the window at the same moment the driver went up on a curb and drove by a guide wire. The buddy seeing his impending doom decided that the only way to protect himself was to seperate his head from his body and return it once the car had passed the guide wire. Sadly, he misjudged the speed of the car and the head never made it back.

The driver continued on his way home and parked the car and went to bed only to be rudely awakened the next morning by the police who were trying to return the head to it's rightful body.

The family of the headless man is now asking that the driver be freed from jail (where police seem to be holding him for no good reason) and that "he needs to be out to receive whatever treatment is necessary, put his life back together."

Again, what is this country coming to when you drive drunk, accidently behead your best friend and then are held responsible for it? I'll tell you this much, crap like this doesn't fly in Canada.