Chris Magazine

"He sees you when you're sleeping, he knows when you're awake..."
And so does Santa Claus.

Looking back on the past year....George Bush is a putz and a liar, willing to sell out our civil liberties or anyone elses for that matter to further his own personal and political agenda. The Democrats are a bunch of spineless, directionless ninnies who couldn't find a common objective if you threw them all in a room with a single door and started a fire in the corner. Hello Mother Nature....sorry we pissed you off. Seriously, I don't know what we did, but we are really sorry. To the soldiers fighting abroad, we appreciate your sacrifice and we'd love to give you the tools to win, but then again we're not clear on what "winning" means exactly and giving you the overwhelming force to do your job (that goes back to the old "Art of War" rules of engagement) isn't politically expedient right now and might give the American public (who I'm sure are busy sacrificing at this very moment for the cause) the idea that the war isn't going as well as they keep saying in those informercials on TV. I'm sure there's more, but I need to go spread some holiday joy. Whoopee.

It appears you guys have got me nothing this year. Ungrateful wretches. I give you everything, all year long and this is how you repay me. Don't think that you'll be seeing any Kwanza wishes from me or believe for one damn second that there's a boxing day gift on your doorstep from me. Man....I am truly shocked that you would all treat me this way. It hurts. Really it hurts.

Haven't posted in a while....it is that time of year, of course, where lazy becomes the operative word. I keep intending on finishing my Christmas Shopping, but I've been really busy with lazy. It seems to take up all my time of late. Speaking of which...what are you guys getting me this year?

It took so little
To bring me to my knees
Biting my cheek
Clenching my jaw
Until it ached
A look
A one sided look at that
It was all on my part
I saw it
And it dropped me
I knew it was coming
I’d even invited it
It wasn’t supposed to be a big deal
This wasn’t even as bad as the stuff I hear about
But it was
It was worse
They didn’t do anything special
There wasn’t any grandstanding show of affection
No warm embrace
No holding hands and looking longingly
But there they stood
Together
And there I stood
Alone
And I stared
Slowly my stomach knotted
The weight grew in my chest
And I watched
His arms around her
Rarely moving
Just holding
Just
Just enough
I don’t know what else happened
I don’t remember seeing anything else
I don’t remember when I stopped looking
I recall wanting to stop
But I couldn’t
All those fantasies I had created
My grand castle
Dashed to rubble
By this scene
So I stand
Alone
I can feel the wind
Seeping through my coat
And I feel the cold
For now it’s a good feeling
Hoping it numbs
All else

Tried to get on to see what I've written lately (cause when you do it in a drunken stupor, it's often a surprise) and it said my page didn't exist anymore and yet, here I am...writing. Odd.

I was going to make sunday the first day of the rest of my life, but I just wasn't feeling it....so I think I'm going to push it off a week.