Chris Magazine

Looking back on the past year....George Bush is a putz and a liar, willing to sell out our civil liberties or anyone elses for that matter to further his own personal and political agenda. The Democrats are a bunch of spineless, directionless ninnies who couldn't find a common objective if you threw them all in a room with a single door and started a fire in the corner. Hello Mother Nature....sorry we pissed you off. Seriously, I don't know what we did, but we are really sorry. To the soldiers fighting abroad, we appreciate your sacrifice and we'd love to give you the tools to win, but then again we're not clear on what "winning" means exactly and giving you the overwhelming force to do your job (that goes back to the old "Art of War" rules of engagement) isn't politically expedient right now and might give the American public (who I'm sure are busy sacrificing at this very moment for the cause) the idea that the war isn't going as well as they keep saying in those informercials on TV. I'm sure there's more, but I need to go spread some holiday joy. Whoopee.