Chris Magazine

Look, people....I'm a little unclear as to what's been happening around here. As far as I can tell, we just don't care. Well, most of us anyway. The Bush administration has pretty much admitted, they were all wrong about the war...that they lied about many, many things and have repeatedly played a very coy media relations game to gain popularity while avoiding doing anything good for anyone. Remember all the money and the help and promises of not forgetting anyone who suffered in Katrina....yeah... about that....we really don't have money for you, but if you work hard you'll back on your own feet. How's about those tax cuts helping the economy? Maybe they did, but then again thanks to the war that no one's had to sacrifice a lick for (short of those brave souls who've died or been wounded for their country)all we've done the last five years is cut services.... hey, aren't you a young student who wants to go to college? Grades...good....work ethic....great....money...student loan....oh, you know what....we just cut a lot of our pell grants...sorry about that...best of luck with financial aid from the institution....I hear community college is good....How's about those new medicare plans where even the doctors can't exactly tell you how they work....or don't work really as the best recommendation the government has suggested was telling seniors that all the information is easily laid out on-line...and we all know how well 87 year olds do surfing the web. I suspect there's a better chance that they'll end up giving their bank account number to a nice man in Nigeria then they would signing up for the best medicare plan. There's genocide and drought in Africa...a rising tide of Islamic fundamentalism around the world that we've only fueled in Iraq...more poor than ever here in the United States...problems across the board and yet, the sense I get from people is more anger over who was kicked off American Idol than anything else. This brings me back to an old theme, but an important one....where's our next leader....we are a rudderless nation and don't tell me Bush is our leader....he's not...he's a moron....a politician...and don't tell me about all those names being bandied about for the democratic nomination in 2008....not a one is a real leader....we are lacking and it shows.

About this thing called really wicked wild sex. I hear it's great. I understand it's often done at motels and can last sometimes up to an hour or more. I also hear it's filled with passion and orgasms. Now I don't know who's spreading this rumor, but you are clearly setting expectations way too high for the rest of us....stop it.

Everyone should have one...my current fav is a Ziplock commercial...You may have seen it, or one like it, but essentially there are two groups of people; one for whom the bag fails (the competetor) and one for whom the bag hold (ziplock). In this particular spot the two woman stand side by side...the one for whom the bag breaks, well to put it indelicately...she's chubby....she's all round and sad....the one who's using the ziplock bag has the pleasure of being thin and happy. Of course if it were just one add, one might just chalk that up to the way an unfortunate casting decision, luckily there are actually two commercials....featuring different woman, but both time fat one uses the bad bag...thin one uses the good bag. Perhaps they're not trying to send any other message then the fact that if you can't keep food fresh you need to eat it immediately and that will leave you heavy, but then again, I doubt it.

Sometimes you choose the horse
sometimes it chooses you
either way, you saddle up and ride
holding tight to the reins
as the music begins
the ride starts to spin
the horse rises
the ride moves faster
arms wrapping around the neck of the beast
as she falls
holding tight to her
the motions become deceptive
rising again
feelings coming in waves
with the motion of the horse
as she rises and falls with the revolutions
each low ebb merely a precursor
to the inevitable rise
though soon the music slows
her motions become more halting
until the world around you again becomes still
many stumble off their steeds
trying to regain their footing in that steady world beyond
some though, appreciate the ride
despite the inevitable rises and falls
that come with it
and choose to ride again
some with a different partner
some with the same
but regardless
the ride is never the same twice

I just took an on-line test to see how much longer I have to live and as it turns out, I passed away two weeks ago. Cash donations can be made to Washington Mutual in my name.

Maybe the best measure of true love isn't chasing after someone you know will make you happy, but rather when one chases someone who you know will break your heart. Perhaps that just makes you a fool.