Chris Magazine

It's Christmas Eve and all through the house
My boxes are empty
and I am a louse
I've shopped little
and bought even less
And don't have great Christmas gifts
to give poor little tess
But upon the roof
there rose such a clatter
I got up from my brand new satellite radio
to see what might be the matter
a homeless man it seems
had climed up, hoping to break in and fulfill his dreams
of taking my computer and T.V.
but thanks to a lack of adequte background checks
it's my gun he'll see
upon his back, a bag he carried
and in it many toys he offered to show
taken from families before me he'd harried
and he reached in and pulled out tickle me elmo
Christmas had come to my humble house
but not before I shot the intruder like an unwanted mouse
so this lesson i've learned from this one holiday
that things come to those who wait and who have a glock
and it leads me to say
Merry Christmas to all and homeless guys rock!

Happy Christmas Eve!

P.S. It may not rhyme, but it was done off the cuff
So I'd rather not hear all your whining and guff