Wednesday, June 09, 2004
Chris Begs Forgiveness
In a rather interesting turn of events, Chris's winning ticket was not so winning after all. Chris, showing a distinct lack of understanding of how a lottery works merely held a ticket that had none of the requisite six matching numbers and therefore is left with nothing. Earlier today Chris called and attempted to reconcile with Chris Magazine to no avail.
"I believe he said something to the effect of 'fu*k* off' to us yesterday and that he didn't need us. We thought about it and we agreed." said one disgruntled editor. "Look up punk ass bitch in the dictionary and see who's picture it next to it."
His wife harbored similar sentiments, "I think Chris said he didn't need me if he had $23 million dollars. When he asked to come home, I told him that was true and I suggested that he find his sorry as $22 million dollars because that's about the level that I'll feel comfortable having him in my home again.
His 13 month old daughter merely reached into her mouth and offered him a partially digested cheezit.
Chris apparently wanted to make a public apology and we agree that one is probably warranted, but after we suggested he hit the streets and start yelling, he threw a rock at our offices. Chris is currently being served with a restraining order and he's remains poor. Poor, old and awkward. Also, Chris seems to get a lot of "spam" aimed at men with small genitalia. We're not suggested that he has a small penis, but where there's smoke there's often a small penis.
"I believe he said something to the effect of 'fu*k* off' to us yesterday and that he didn't need us. We thought about it and we agreed." said one disgruntled editor. "Look up punk ass bitch in the dictionary and see who's picture it next to it."
His wife harbored similar sentiments, "I think Chris said he didn't need me if he had $23 million dollars. When he asked to come home, I told him that was true and I suggested that he find his sorry as $22 million dollars because that's about the level that I'll feel comfortable having him in my home again.
His 13 month old daughter merely reached into her mouth and offered him a partially digested cheezit.
Chris apparently wanted to make a public apology and we agree that one is probably warranted, but after we suggested he hit the streets and start yelling, he threw a rock at our offices. Chris is currently being served with a restraining order and he's remains poor. Poor, old and awkward. Also, Chris seems to get a lot of "spam" aimed at men with small genitalia. We're not suggested that he has a small penis, but where there's smoke there's often a small penis.
