Thursday, May 06, 2004
Chris Fails Gay Test, A Community In Shock
"You are 21% GAY! That's less gay than average for someone of your gender and supposed orientation. The typical straight guy is 39% gay!"
With those simple words Chris's standing in the gay community took a nosedive last night.
Lars Lexington, Chairman of the Portland chapter of the Purple Rainbow Reading Group was left dumbfounded. "You know, I always thought he was with us. Not one of us, but with us, but now I don't know anymore."
When Chris took the test, he thought it was just a lark, he had no idea the impact it would have on his life.
"I used to watch musicals, I even liked them. Now I'm not sure what that means. 21%? I know homophobic athletes who can score higher than that. Does this mean I don't really like the theater or watching the Fine Living network? Before the test I thought Christopher Lowell's show was really helpful and full of great tips, but now I'm thinking maybe I was watching because he was such an extreme stereotype and I just found it funny?"
Chris's family was surprised as well. His sister was especially taken aback by the results. "I knew he was married and everything, but lets be honest I didn't think he was fooling anyone with that sham, but maybe the baby really is his?"
Chris's female friends were numb by the results. One, who asked to remain anonymous took the news hard. "I told him things. Things I wouldn't share with my best girlfriends because I thought he... you know, but he doesn't. With just 21% of him being gay he probably just hugged me when I cried so he could cop a feel. That sonofabitch!"
Where does this leave Chris? Confused.
"I'm just not sure where to go from here. I think I'm going to look on the internet for some on-line sensitivity training, clearly I could use it. It sucks that I'm that gay unfriendly, some of my best friends are....err were gay. Damn."
Damn indeed.
Take the test here
With those simple words Chris's standing in the gay community took a nosedive last night.
Lars Lexington, Chairman of the Portland chapter of the Purple Rainbow Reading Group was left dumbfounded. "You know, I always thought he was with us. Not one of us, but with us, but now I don't know anymore."
When Chris took the test, he thought it was just a lark, he had no idea the impact it would have on his life.
"I used to watch musicals, I even liked them. Now I'm not sure what that means. 21%? I know homophobic athletes who can score higher than that. Does this mean I don't really like the theater or watching the Fine Living network? Before the test I thought Christopher Lowell's show was really helpful and full of great tips, but now I'm thinking maybe I was watching because he was such an extreme stereotype and I just found it funny?"
Chris's family was surprised as well. His sister was especially taken aback by the results. "I knew he was married and everything, but lets be honest I didn't think he was fooling anyone with that sham, but maybe the baby really is his?"
Chris's female friends were numb by the results. One, who asked to remain anonymous took the news hard. "I told him things. Things I wouldn't share with my best girlfriends because I thought he... you know, but he doesn't. With just 21% of him being gay he probably just hugged me when I cried so he could cop a feel. That sonofabitch!"
Where does this leave Chris? Confused.
"I'm just not sure where to go from here. I think I'm going to look on the internet for some on-line sensitivity training, clearly I could use it. It sucks that I'm that gay unfriendly, some of my best friends are....err were gay. Damn."
Damn indeed.
Take the test here
