Chris Magazine

Dear Chris Magazine,
I made a mistake and now I want to make it right, could you publish this letter for me?
Killer Guy

Dear Killer Guy
Even though you are a sick bastard, we're here to help. Here's your letter...



Dear Schott family,

I have to get something off my chest. I'd like to apologize for the untimely death of your son, Jeff Schott. It appears that I made a grievous error when I decided to "kill a man, just to watch him eat". I didn't think it through. If I had, I'm sure I would have realized my mistake. Going back and watching some of the movies I used as resource material, it dawned on me that I should have "killed a man to watch him die". Unfortunately this didn't strike me at the time and I walked away from Jeff disgusted in the fact that he didn't eat, not even the steak I had brought him from Morton's. The real kicker is that since I was waiting for him to eat something, I didn't really watch him die so I missed out on that whole experience as well. I feel awful about the whole thing. I hope the flowers helped with the loss.

Yours truly,
That Killer Guy