Thursday, May 27, 2004
The Announcement!
"After no consultation with my family, nor any advisors of any kind, I have decided that the time has come to throw my hat into the ring, I will run for President of the United States of America."
With those words, Chris officially announced his candidacy for President, joining such luminaries as Ralph Nader, George W. Bush, John Kerry and Lyndon LaRouche. It was quite a surprise to see the unemployed 33 year old joining the political fray.
As far as Chris Magazine has been able to surmise, Chris has no experience in politics, nor finance, foreign policy, raising capital, dressing nice or being cordial to people he dislikes.
When asked if he thought those negatives alone might be a reason not to run, Chris was quick to jump into the political fight, "You think I couldn't have screwed up Iraq as well as Bush did? Do you really think I can't change my mind on every issue and then when given the opportunity to make a strong stand about something, instead offer a centrist platitude like John Kerry? Do you really think I couldn't... well I'm not really sure what Nader does, but whatever it is, I could do it. I'm ready to go. I'm kicking everyone's ass this time and I'm taking names!"
When asked just what that last statement meant, Chris admitted he didn't know, but wanted to appear as a strong, take no prisoners kind of candidate.
The other candidates were taken by surprise by the announcement and none of the other camps were willing to make a comment.
Chris is expected to flesh out his platform over the next couple of days.
With those words, Chris officially announced his candidacy for President, joining such luminaries as Ralph Nader, George W. Bush, John Kerry and Lyndon LaRouche. It was quite a surprise to see the unemployed 33 year old joining the political fray.
As far as Chris Magazine has been able to surmise, Chris has no experience in politics, nor finance, foreign policy, raising capital, dressing nice or being cordial to people he dislikes.
When asked if he thought those negatives alone might be a reason not to run, Chris was quick to jump into the political fight, "You think I couldn't have screwed up Iraq as well as Bush did? Do you really think I can't change my mind on every issue and then when given the opportunity to make a strong stand about something, instead offer a centrist platitude like John Kerry? Do you really think I couldn't... well I'm not really sure what Nader does, but whatever it is, I could do it. I'm ready to go. I'm kicking everyone's ass this time and I'm taking names!"
When asked just what that last statement meant, Chris admitted he didn't know, but wanted to appear as a strong, take no prisoners kind of candidate.
The other candidates were taken by surprise by the announcement and none of the other camps were willing to make a comment.
Chris is expected to flesh out his platform over the next couple of days.
