Sunday, April 04, 2004
No Cold Day In Hell on Horizon for Chris
As of Monday, April 4th, Chris remains unemployed leaving the John Kerry for President Campaign ecstatic.
"Recovering economy, my ass!" said a charged up Kerry. "Chris is just the kind of guy we're talking about when we're talking about people being unemployed which we often do because people are unemployed and I fought in 'Nam."
Chris, meanwhile, continues to struggle to find a job for his particular skills. When asked just what those skills were, he struggled to clarify what he characterized as "a lot of intangibles."
"I work hard...never missed a day of work due to illness in my life....very creative...I'm gifted you know..."
The Bush Administration has called into question Chris's status as one of the nation's true unemployed.
"He's a crock!" claimed one unnamed advisor to President Bush. "We're not even convinced he's gifted." The advisor then produced this transcript of a conversation Chris had in 1998 with a co-worker:
Chris: I don't know what to tell you, but that whole farting scene in Blazing Saddles had me rolling.
Unnamed Co-worker: You think that was funnier than the Dumb and Dumber scene?
Chris: (Laughing) Awww hell, I forgot that one....that was funny... hey, pull my finger...
"This is not the conversation of someone truly gifted," added the advisor. "Someone like this can get a job in Canada, but we don't have a place for them here in the United States of America."
Presidential Candidate John Kerry remains undeterred in his support for Chris and his employment status. "As long as there are people like Chris, we know we'll have the unemployment issue to hang our hats on," he added, "he's not going anywhere anytime soon."
"Recovering economy, my ass!" said a charged up Kerry. "Chris is just the kind of guy we're talking about when we're talking about people being unemployed which we often do because people are unemployed and I fought in 'Nam."
Chris, meanwhile, continues to struggle to find a job for his particular skills. When asked just what those skills were, he struggled to clarify what he characterized as "a lot of intangibles."
"I work hard...never missed a day of work due to illness in my life....very creative...I'm gifted you know..."
The Bush Administration has called into question Chris's status as one of the nation's true unemployed.
"He's a crock!" claimed one unnamed advisor to President Bush. "We're not even convinced he's gifted." The advisor then produced this transcript of a conversation Chris had in 1998 with a co-worker:
Chris: I don't know what to tell you, but that whole farting scene in Blazing Saddles had me rolling.
Unnamed Co-worker: You think that was funnier than the Dumb and Dumber scene?
Chris: (Laughing) Awww hell, I forgot that one....that was funny... hey, pull my finger...
"This is not the conversation of someone truly gifted," added the advisor. "Someone like this can get a job in Canada, but we don't have a place for them here in the United States of America."
Presidential Candidate John Kerry remains undeterred in his support for Chris and his employment status. "As long as there are people like Chris, we know we'll have the unemployment issue to hang our hats on," he added, "he's not going anywhere anytime soon."
