Saturday, April 17, 2004
Chris Screwed By "Friends"
Chris never goes out. It's just not something that happens often.
He points out, "There might be something on TV, and what if it's never on again?"
Friday night saw yet another reinforcement of this selective agoraphobia exhibited by Chris. It began with a phone call from Bill.
"Bill asked me if I'd ever been to The Rocky Horror Picture Show? I hadn't...sure I've seen some stuff about it, but I'd never actually been to one of those midnight showings. When I say 'no', he tells me that I'm going (Friday night). After he told me that I'd need to dress up, I whined a bit, but finally I gave in. I figured what the hell, if I go now I won't have to go anywhere for months."
Chris then set to work on finding a costume, hitting the internet to see what things looked like. "This part sucked... everyone seemed to be wearing lingerie...including the guys. I called Bill to see if I could just wear a funny hat, but he assured me that everyone would be dressing up. Finally, I just went out and bought some cheap stockings and garters and hoped that would be enough."
When Bill, Ramon, Kelly and Cindy showed up at his door, they all applauded Chris's costume, a torn white shirt, a dog collar, pair of briefs and the stockings and garters.
"I was feeling pretty confident for a minute, but then I looked at what they were wearing... the girls were fully dressed with these old fashioned skirt looking things and the guys were wearing ledehosen. When I mentioned that I didn't recall seeing those costumes on-line, they assured me that I'd recognize them when we got to the show.
So there I am walking through the streets of Portland (Oregon) in this silly costume and when we turn the corner to where the theater is Ramon suggests that someone throw a coat over me so no one sees my kickass costume until we're actually in the theater. I should have known something was wrong."
He should have, but he didn't. He was hustled into the theater and his "freinds" wouldn't let him take off the coat until the lights came down.
"So, I'm feeling pretty good about myself and then the movie starts... I didn't remember seeing Julie Andrews in any of the credits for Rocky Horror?"
That is because, she wasn't. Julie Andrews was, however, in The Sound of Music.
"All of a sudden it dawned on me... I've just been f**ked."
The coat, which had once covered him, disappeared and Chris was left to sit through the entire Sound of Music sing-a-long wearing a dog collar and lingerie.
"I hate my friends," said a disparate Chris later, "I hate them all to hell."
His friends were of a different mind.
"That totally kicked ass," said a still pumped up Ramon. "That boy's not the sharpest tool, thankfully for us."
Cindy echoed the sentiment, "Next week the Wizard of Oz sing-a-long is coming into town...we've got to get him to that... maybe dressed as a Nazi?"
"That would rock!" confirmed Bill.
When it does happen, expect Chris Magazine to be there, with Monkey Wings on.
He points out, "There might be something on TV, and what if it's never on again?"
Friday night saw yet another reinforcement of this selective agoraphobia exhibited by Chris. It began with a phone call from Bill.
"Bill asked me if I'd ever been to The Rocky Horror Picture Show? I hadn't...sure I've seen some stuff about it, but I'd never actually been to one of those midnight showings. When I say 'no', he tells me that I'm going (Friday night). After he told me that I'd need to dress up, I whined a bit, but finally I gave in. I figured what the hell, if I go now I won't have to go anywhere for months."
Chris then set to work on finding a costume, hitting the internet to see what things looked like. "This part sucked... everyone seemed to be wearing lingerie...including the guys. I called Bill to see if I could just wear a funny hat, but he assured me that everyone would be dressing up. Finally, I just went out and bought some cheap stockings and garters and hoped that would be enough."
When Bill, Ramon, Kelly and Cindy showed up at his door, they all applauded Chris's costume, a torn white shirt, a dog collar, pair of briefs and the stockings and garters.
"I was feeling pretty confident for a minute, but then I looked at what they were wearing... the girls were fully dressed with these old fashioned skirt looking things and the guys were wearing ledehosen. When I mentioned that I didn't recall seeing those costumes on-line, they assured me that I'd recognize them when we got to the show.
So there I am walking through the streets of Portland (Oregon) in this silly costume and when we turn the corner to where the theater is Ramon suggests that someone throw a coat over me so no one sees my kickass costume until we're actually in the theater. I should have known something was wrong."
He should have, but he didn't. He was hustled into the theater and his "freinds" wouldn't let him take off the coat until the lights came down.
"So, I'm feeling pretty good about myself and then the movie starts... I didn't remember seeing Julie Andrews in any of the credits for Rocky Horror?"
That is because, she wasn't. Julie Andrews was, however, in The Sound of Music.
"All of a sudden it dawned on me... I've just been f**ked."
The coat, which had once covered him, disappeared and Chris was left to sit through the entire Sound of Music sing-a-long wearing a dog collar and lingerie.
"I hate my friends," said a disparate Chris later, "I hate them all to hell."
His friends were of a different mind.
"That totally kicked ass," said a still pumped up Ramon. "That boy's not the sharpest tool, thankfully for us."
Cindy echoed the sentiment, "Next week the Wizard of Oz sing-a-long is coming into town...we've got to get him to that... maybe dressed as a Nazi?"
"That would rock!" confirmed Bill.
When it does happen, expect Chris Magazine to be there, with Monkey Wings on.
