Sunday, April 11, 2004
By Request... A Reposting Of The True Story Of Easter
GLASSPORT, Pa. (April 8) - A church trying to teach about the crucifixion of Jesus performed an Easter show with actors whipping the Easter bunny and breaking eggs, upsetting several parents and young children.
People who attended Saturday's performance at Glassport's memorial stadium quoted performers as saying, "There is no Easter bunny,'' and described the show as being a demonstration of how Jesus was crucified.
Melissa Salzmann, who brought her 4-year-old son J.T., said the program was inappropriate for young children. "He was crying and asking me why the bunny was being whipped,'' Salzmann said.
Patty Bickerton, the youth minister at Glassport Assembly of God, said the performance wasn't meant to be offensive. Bickerton portrayed the Easter rabbit and said she tried to act with a tone of irreverence.
"The program was for all ages, not just the kids. We wanted to convey that Easter is not just about the Easter bunny, it is about Jesus Christ,'' Bickerton said.
Performers broke eggs meant for an Easter egg hunt and also portrayed a drunken man and a self-mutilating woman, said Jennifer Norelli-Burke, another parent who saw the show in Glassport, a community about 10 miles southeast of Pittsburgh.
"It was very disturbing,'' Norelli-Burke said. "I could not believe what I saw. It wasn't anything I was expecting.''
Now I don't know what was so shocking to these people. Obviously, everyone knows the story of Easter, but just in case you don't, I'll give you an abridged version.
Jesus was beat. Things had really been going against him of late. Not only was there the stress associated with being the King of the Jews, but also being the son of God, the Apostles all clamoring for quality time and an impending betrayal were all adding up to some major league martyr stress. He didn't know quite what to do. Another night of water into wine was appealing, but the hangovers were killing him. He'd tried everything he could think of until one day when he was approached by a man, Easter of Jericho.
Easter had come seeking council with this so-called "son of God". He had recently lost his farms to the Roman taxes and was left with little in his pockets and as farming was all he had ever known, he was a lost soul.
Jesus heard most of his story, but by the end, his head was in his hands and he was weeping.
Easter thought his story was certainly a little sad, but not quite up to the sobbing level. "Are you feeling ok buddy?" He asked Christ.
Jesus looked up, his hands soaked with his tears, "You're the first person to ask me that!"
Easter thought to himself, 'Holy crap, this Jesus guy is a wreck.' He put his arm around Jesus and patted him comfortingly.
"You see Easter," Jesus blubbered, "it's just, everything is so hard. No one understands what it's like to be King of the Jews and to have all these expectations and all they think about is themselves. 'Heal my wounds! Raise my son from the dead! Turn this rancid water into wine and then into potable water so I can drink without getting diphtheria!' When is it going to be my turn?"
Easter thought for a moment before answering, "You know, when I'm stressed out I go get me some rabbits and then I beat the crap out of them til I feel better. And sometimes I get eggs and break 'em, just because."
Jesus' face lit up, the tears stopped and for the first time in weeks a smile drew out across his haggard, tan face. "Easter, my friend, that sounds awesome! Let's go get us some rabbits!"
And they did. Jesus and Easter killed a good half dozen rabbits and, after Jesus turned some water into wine, they threw some eggs at the Roman Prefect's home. Sadly the guards caught Easter and he was sent to die at the hands of the lions in the arena, but his name and his bunnies and eggs were forever immortalized in the holiday we now call Easter.
Happy Easter everyone!
People who attended Saturday's performance at Glassport's memorial stadium quoted performers as saying, "There is no Easter bunny,'' and described the show as being a demonstration of how Jesus was crucified.
Melissa Salzmann, who brought her 4-year-old son J.T., said the program was inappropriate for young children. "He was crying and asking me why the bunny was being whipped,'' Salzmann said.
Patty Bickerton, the youth minister at Glassport Assembly of God, said the performance wasn't meant to be offensive. Bickerton portrayed the Easter rabbit and said she tried to act with a tone of irreverence.
"The program was for all ages, not just the kids. We wanted to convey that Easter is not just about the Easter bunny, it is about Jesus Christ,'' Bickerton said.
Performers broke eggs meant for an Easter egg hunt and also portrayed a drunken man and a self-mutilating woman, said Jennifer Norelli-Burke, another parent who saw the show in Glassport, a community about 10 miles southeast of Pittsburgh.
"It was very disturbing,'' Norelli-Burke said. "I could not believe what I saw. It wasn't anything I was expecting.''
Now I don't know what was so shocking to these people. Obviously, everyone knows the story of Easter, but just in case you don't, I'll give you an abridged version.
Jesus was beat. Things had really been going against him of late. Not only was there the stress associated with being the King of the Jews, but also being the son of God, the Apostles all clamoring for quality time and an impending betrayal were all adding up to some major league martyr stress. He didn't know quite what to do. Another night of water into wine was appealing, but the hangovers were killing him. He'd tried everything he could think of until one day when he was approached by a man, Easter of Jericho.
Easter had come seeking council with this so-called "son of God". He had recently lost his farms to the Roman taxes and was left with little in his pockets and as farming was all he had ever known, he was a lost soul.
Jesus heard most of his story, but by the end, his head was in his hands and he was weeping.
Easter thought his story was certainly a little sad, but not quite up to the sobbing level. "Are you feeling ok buddy?" He asked Christ.
Jesus looked up, his hands soaked with his tears, "You're the first person to ask me that!"
Easter thought to himself, 'Holy crap, this Jesus guy is a wreck.' He put his arm around Jesus and patted him comfortingly.
"You see Easter," Jesus blubbered, "it's just, everything is so hard. No one understands what it's like to be King of the Jews and to have all these expectations and all they think about is themselves. 'Heal my wounds! Raise my son from the dead! Turn this rancid water into wine and then into potable water so I can drink without getting diphtheria!' When is it going to be my turn?"
Easter thought for a moment before answering, "You know, when I'm stressed out I go get me some rabbits and then I beat the crap out of them til I feel better. And sometimes I get eggs and break 'em, just because."
Jesus' face lit up, the tears stopped and for the first time in weeks a smile drew out across his haggard, tan face. "Easter, my friend, that sounds awesome! Let's go get us some rabbits!"
And they did. Jesus and Easter killed a good half dozen rabbits and, after Jesus turned some water into wine, they threw some eggs at the Roman Prefect's home. Sadly the guards caught Easter and he was sent to die at the hands of the lions in the arena, but his name and his bunnies and eggs were forever immortalized in the holiday we now call Easter.
Happy Easter everyone!
